Sick

Hello blog.
Really, this blog, its like, depression blog. -__-
Yeah my life suck!!

Look at the subject, "Sick."

Maybe you can guess, I'm not sick.
I just get a heart sick or sick of life.

I just wanna cry.

I mean, this is the worst year I've ever done.

I don't know who else I can trust.

It heard pathetic but it's like I don't have any trustable friends.
I scared, & I know someday they'll stab me in the back.
it's part of humanity, hypocrite & changed.

I can't believe what just happen to me.

People, my friends, they keep a distance with me because my boyfriend..... WTF?
It's hurting me, so badly :'(
Am I so horrible? Or what? Or I being mean to them?
Or what?
Why?
Am I infected with a virus so they don't wanna near me?
Or am I wrong?
They called me childish bcs I don't get it why they wanna keep a distance to me with a reason "they want to respect my boyfriend."

Yes ! I really wanna cry now!!!

I wanna scream right now!!!!

They my friend for almost 3 years, & when I get a boyfriend, their own friend for 3 years, they don't call me their friend anymore!! They see me as "my boyfriend's girlfriend"!!!

Aah... it's like I wanna shut myself down.
Don't have any relationship with anybody anymore.
It's like I've made a mistake for 9 months.

For damn 9 months, I thought they support me. I thought they never change.

Hah, I guess people, humans, never can be trust, can't they?

orang bilang saya depresi

Another day at school.
Tidak damai tidak musuhan.

Hahaha!
Who am I kidding?!
My days just gettin' worse & worse!!
I promise myself to not cry in March but guess what?!

Another Tears again!

what happen to me, my dear God?!
Am I that weak?

Tidak bisakah saya tegar seperti dulu? Tidak nangis nangis??
Sampai sampai orang bilang saya seperti orang depresi!!
Ya Allah ...

Mana ketegaranku dulu? :(

Kenapa sekarang saya tidak bisa tahan air mataku?

Sakit! Sakit skali!




But who cares?

Total Eclipse of the Heart - Bonnie Tyler

Lagu lama? Memang!
Tapi liriknya memang betul betul menggambarkan perasaan, betul betul cocok sama keadaanku!



(Turn around)
Every now and then
I get a little bit lonely
and you're never coming around
(Turn around)
Every now and then
I get a little bit tired
of listening to the sound of my tears
(Turn around)
Every now and then
I get a little bit nervous
that the best of all the years have gone by
(Turn around)
Every now and then
I get a little bit terrified
and then I see the look in your eyes
(Turn around bright eyes)
Every now and then I fall apart
(Turn around bright eyes)
Every now and then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I WAS FALLING IN LOVE,
But now I'M ONLY FALLING APART
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart

Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart

Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart
Total eclipse of the heart
Total eclipse of the heart
Total eclipse of the heart.

Saya tidak ingin DIPAKSA!!

Okay enough is enough!!
I'm sick of you, boy!!
Tolong, saya sudah tersiksa, jangan paksa saya untuk kembali, please !!
You know that i cried?!
You know that i disappointed ?!

Ah kau tau apaa ..
Yang kau mau tau cuma semua kemauanmu dipenuhi ..
Capek hei saya capek diginiin!!

Rese' !!

I wanna say GOODBYE

Hello boy.
Can I say "Goodbye" to you?
Well, I really want to say directly.
But I can't. I don't have a courage.
I don't want to hurt your feelings.
But if I stay with you, I'll just keep eat my heart.
& I'm tired. I'm sick of it.
Sick of your attitude to me.
Sick of your egoistic.
Sick of your bossy-act.
Sick of your mock.
Sick of your coward attitude.
Sick of your 'always-right'.
Sick of your attitude that won't listen what I wish for.
Really sick with all of it.
I'm so sorry.
I can't take it anymore.
I can't keep lying to myself.
I want a boy, who accept me for who I'm. Not a boy who want to change me.
I want a boy, who makes me smile when I have a trouble or sick. Not a boy who makes me cry when I'm busy.
I want a boy, who listen me so well. Not a boy who uses a thousand reasons for ignoring what I said.
I want a boy, who can understand my condition. Not a boy who always angry when I can't with him.

Please read this.
Translate this blog by yourself.

I'm so sorry.
I loved you. But you broke it.
I trusted you. But you makes me sad.
Oh my gosh ...
You make me so disappointed you know :'(

Goodbye.

whatever !

oh gosh !!
whatever !!

would you get off your annoying attitude ?!
i'm sick.off.it.!!

you're such a .... aaa! you're undescribable!
you're unbelievable!

please, whatever you want it, don't bother me!

finally lovelife

aaaa I'm so confused of these love things!

This is the first time for me, I mean it's not like a hate it, I enjoy it. Really!
But, okay I admit it, I had a trauma. Not me, but from my friends. I saw my friends crying just for a boy when they broke up.

I'm afraid that I'll be like that ...


Okey, I AM like that.
I EVER cry for a boy.

But I'm not breaking up. I hope it's never happen.